Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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