we have officially lost it.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
