no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize