Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
