took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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