Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
