Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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