ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
