Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Even my vagina gasped.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
