Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
