That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
