why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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