We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
