lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
