I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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