I think my vagina is haunted
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
