He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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