...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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