he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize