day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
