i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
