i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
