talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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