i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
