Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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