remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
