i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
