Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You smell like stripper and shame
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
