i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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