I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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