that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
