I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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