it was like his penis was on wheels.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
