Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were trust falling into bushes
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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