so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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