Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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