I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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