There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I only lived at night.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just high enough for therapy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
