It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
