You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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