i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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