No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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