this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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