pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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