You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
