Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
