Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
