I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
