why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
