I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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