If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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