even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
