I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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