small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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