things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
