her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
