He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
