They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
