He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
