the day after is always just damage control
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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