If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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