I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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