so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
