No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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