The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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