Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
