I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
